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| Started out wearing a diaper - wonder if???? |
Woke up this morning, rolled over to check out the time and went wow! It was almost 10:30 a.m. and I'd slept through the night like a log, didn't even get up to relieve myself I was so out of it, probably from having a bath last night. One of my greatest pleasures, especially when I'm in quite a bit of pain is to take a bath as hot as I can stand it - we're talking a simmering, lobster-red heat. Because of the upcoming operation on May 7th, I'll no longer be able to enjoy up-to-my-neck hot baths and I'll have to be very careful having a shower, getting an infection being a possibility. Here I was thinking, once the colostomy bag is attached, the hot bath water would stimulate the gasses contained in the bag and if I just slightly unhooked it, the escaping gas would shoot me around the tub like a motor boat. It's fun to joke about my problem but beneath this happy clown face is a worried man, who most likely won't be the man he once was once the operation is completed. Rearranging my guts, diverting my plumbing is bound to have some everlasting results, like completely depriving me of my dwindling sex-drive and possibly causing me to become a diaper-bound old man for the rest of my days. I mean that's the way I started out in life, the doctor holding me up by my heels and slapping my little red butt - no sex drive and swaddled in diapers. Can't say that's the way I imagined leaving this world - no, anything butt - I mean but.
Since nobody gets out of here alive, we all must have thoughts concerning how we would like to exit this world. Since my dad died from a heart attack, that;s something to consider - oh yeah - go to the bathroom grunting and groaning while trying to make a deposit in the porcelain throne, and then, clasp my chest as my heart bursts doesn't sound like an ideal way to depart this wonderful planet. There's also the macho way - having a last orgasm over a hot blonde but that's not going to happen because I can't afford one and my wife wouldn't like that idea. And then, the most practical way, the way many people would like to depart, is to go to sleep one night in the comfort of their bed and never wake up. For me, I was thinking a horse-drawn hearse with several large kegs of beer attached to it, a marching band and a dozen shapely baton-twirling majorettes and then fireworks - launch my body on a rocket and have it explode over the Pacific Ocean - little bits and pieces of me to feed the sea critters - better than all of that plastic.
life and death go hand in hand like two inseparable lovers from the moment we take our first deep breath and scream bloody murder. It doesn't matter if life is a struggle or if everything comes easily, as much as life would like to be completely free, death is shackled to our wrists patiently waiting for its turn. Sometimes we don't even get a first breath of air before we get the thumbs down and sometimes it just teases us with near misses, perhaps giggling to itself as we try recovering from our almost fatal mishaps. But in the end, no matter how much laughter, good times one has while being alive, death, the ultimate boogeyman comes smiling and knocking at our door. I've heard death knocking over the years but I avoided answering the door. Now, I'm not so sure if it's the loud ringing in my ears, but death seems to be knocking louder these days but so far I've not been tempted to open the door, I cower behind it and have decided I'll never open it. No, death is an uninvited guest and no matter how congenial or convincing it may appear, if it wants in, then it will just have to kick the bloody door down, grab me by my scrawny turkey neck and drag me off. Whew...guess I told death where to get off...peace, eh! - Trip
My wife and I recently started up an Etsy Store a little while ago and if you'd like to check out our artistic creations just click on the link.
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