Friday, August 31, 2018

SIDEWAYS

Managed to letter some more hearts and apply 
them to our Hippie Hangout, which will 
hopefully be on the road this time next year.
              I used to think I knew which direction I was travelling. I had a purpose and a straight road ahead, and then wham! Just like that, I'm skidding off the road and heading sideways towards a big tree. Everything is in slow motion at this point and as I start putting up my hands to possibly slow down the out of control skid or at least save me some broken limbs when my body slams into the tree, I can't help wondering about the outcome. Yup, I got schmucked up and although everything looked very bad at the time, it turned out that it wasn't quite as serious as I thought it would be. If anyone is confused about what I just wrote; no, I never had an accident; no skidding off the road and slamming into a tree; it's my health that went sideways.  It's not like my life hasn't gone sideways before and things didn't look too good at the time but when your health takes a big turn for the worse, that's when you realize how important it is to have really looked after yourself in your younger years. 
              Now, I didn't especially take my health too seriously when I was younger, more for granted than anything else, especially since I'd hardly ever been sick a day in my life or taken any pills; that is, until now. I certainly take a lot of pills these days, some of them very pretty, blue, green, orange and white but most of them taste quite bitter. I chug 'em back the way I used to chug my beer but as fast as I down them, I don't get the satisfaction of knocking back a cold glass of beer anymore - alcohol is strictly forbidden.
              I wound up in Emergency at the hospital a couple of weeks ago and while there I complained about the discomfort of my swollen balls, which had been going on since my operation May 7th.  Finally. the doctor on call in the Emergency took notice and told me I had an infection. But to be sure, he wanted to test my prostate. As I watched him eye up his longest finger, my whole body tightened up. As he began inspecting my hairy orifice, noticing I was not in favour of sticking his finger up my rear end he said, "I'll be very careful. I don't have to go in too far and it shouldn't hurt much."
              Yeah right, I thought,. I've had a lot of probing fingers up my bottom end and if my sphincter had be honed as sharp as a guillotine, I would have happily cut off his finger. He prescribed some pills, which he said would not show any results until about a month's time. After three weeks of swollen testicles, I have yet to seen any improvement.
              Due to toxicity, my chemo treatments have been postponed for several weeks; I tend to light up a dark room, an eerie green, when I enter. I feel pretty good at the moment, have even gained some of my body weight back. This will hopefully withstand the month and a half of remaining chemo treatments and then I can start healing until it's time for the next operation to put my guts back together and hopefully have my rectum working normal once again. Most of my hair has fallen out and I expect once the last three chemo treatments have ended, I will be as bald as an apple, perhaps even as red. I'm hoping that it will grow back but there are no guarantees, each person is different.
             The chemo treatments are extremely harsh and I almost quit having them because with each session, it took me longer to sort of bounce back, I was beginning to feel that another one would kill me. Thankfully, the doctor postponed them. It's all a waiting game and I hope I have the patience and endurance to withstand the last three treatments - keeping my fingers crossed - peace, eh - Trip