Saturday, December 1, 2018

RINGING EARS, BLURRY EYES AND TREMBLING HANDS - OLD AGE IS FUN

          Seems like quite a few people read this blog, so I wonder how many hear a ringing noise in their ears like I do. At first, when they began ringing, I thought perhaps I was picking up a radio or WiFi signal and later on, when the noise became louder, I thought I was intercepting an alien's star-ship signal - little green people on the backside of the moon trying to make contact (especially since I've been a little green lately and can light up a dark room).  I'm kind of glad that the ringing became louder because it drowns out the various voices in my head, except when they are having a heated argument. However, I now realize, much to my dismay, it's most likely an age thing. When I'm busy doing something, I don't notice the ringing as much; it's the quiet times, like lying in bed trying to fall asleep, reading a book or trying to concentrate on something that I'm doing. However, on a positive note, I tend to have selective hearing and when someone interferes with my thoughts, I just zone them out to left field or even beyond the bleachers and then just say, "Sorry, I didn't hear what you were saying."
           Besides the ringing in my ears, my eyesight is constantly blurry, which again is an age thing - because even wearing spectacles doesn't work any longer. Sometimes, it's as if the ringing in my ears compounded with my bad eyesight is like watching a Charlie Chaplin silent movie (something which is actually older than this old fart). I doubt that anyone wants to hear about my farting episodes but since I'm on the topic of farting; just before my operation and having a war with cancer, I used to blow the most melodious farts (didn't even have to eat a mess of beans); probably could have joined a symphony orchestra. Yes, the farts were that good, could almost blow them on cue. Now, whenever I happen to let one go, it's like puckering your lips and saying poof very quietly, not nearly as satisfying even though they sometimes make me giggle.
Wolf Bay - my last painting
               It's been a while since I put paint to canvas and I can't blame it on poor eyesight or being lifted out of my chair by an explosive fart. No, it's mostly due to my slightly trembling hands (not an old age factor, more because of the chemo treatments I was undergoing (so glad that has ended). I like to paint realistically and one slip of the brush loaded with paint could be disastrous, especially since my temper is somewhat light-triggered, ready to fire at any moment; I might just rip up the canvas rather than wipe off the paint and start again.  I also have a touch of chemo-brain (my mind short-circuiting once in a while) so if I was for instance mixing a purple (blue and red) I might wind up mixing orange (yellow and red) and that just wouldn't be appropriate. I may have to switch to abstracts rather than realistic paintings because if I'm a wee bit shaky or mix the wrong color, it just might add something positive to the painting, a happy mistake so to speak.
               So there you have it folks, probably more information than you would like to have read, loud ringing noises in my ears, soon to be hopefully farting frequently (melodious of course) shaky hands and did I mention shuffling along when walking? Yeah, I'm a wreck of an old man now but at age 77, am I really interested in leaping over bar stools in a single bound, zipping around on a motorcycle or giving the eye to some sweet woman? Well. bar stools and motorcycles are definitely  out of the question but women, no, not women, I have a sweet Daisy that I love very much...peace, eh - Trip