CHECK OUT NEW OLYMPICS EVENT!

          Have you heard the news? The Olympic Commission is considering a new sport, which is open to everyone the world over, whether they be old and decrepit, young and still in diapers, teens and pimple-ridden, middle-age and in crisis, filthy rich and poverty-stricken, drug users and drug abusers, drunks and non-drinkers, either gender or not sure of their gender and the list goes on and on. Like all the other Olympian contestants, the winners of this event will win a gold, silver or bronze medallion. Olympic scouts are now scouring the world over, in search of athletes and non-athletes to participate in this first-time ever event, which will be held this year in Tokyo, Japan. 

          Like all Olympian participants, there is no money to be had, so contestants will either have to find a sponsor or pay all their own bills - transportation, hotel and living expenses are not cheap. So, with that in mind, if you're seriously considering entering this event, you should take the cost factor into account. Obviously, this event will most likely be out of a reach for a beggar in Calcutta, unless they hitch a ride on a magic carpet or a drug addict in Victoria unless they climb to the top of the Empress Hotel, spread their arms and fly and since flying is almost the only way possible to get to Japan - here's a hint to the poor - buy, borrow or steal a roll of Scotch tape and use it to attach 105 seagulls to your body.

          The best way of entering this sure to be a favourite world event is to click on the Olympic website and then click on Thumb-Twiddler for all the details. Actually, while filling out your name and so on, it's best if you use your cell phone because like a javelin, bobsleigh, skis, etc. that's the equipment needed for this event. Also, the amount of time it takes to fill out all the questions by using your cell phone may automatically enter you in the event, as an automatic timer is used by the Olympic Commission. I know this sounds like a foolish event but a recent poll showed that the average person uses their cell phone 14.5 hours a day, which I find incredibly astonishing. I can't believe people are putting their lives out there 24/7 and it's one of the reasons, besides hardly anyone wants to talk to me, I don't own a cell phone...cheers, eh!